Love is the only way to defeat the darkness. I am a fighter. A lot of the time I am alone and it is important that I stay strong because sometimes there is no one around to encourage or help me. I’ve been judged, hurt, neglected, discriminated against, and even called a witch. I am eccentric and usually awkward socially but honest and faithful. For a long time I thought that I had something wrong with me because I was different than other people I knew. Turns out, I am autistic, which accounts for most of my eccentricities and awkwardness. I’ve finally found a job where I can make a difference in people’s lives and it’s even made a difference in mine. I work with autistic adults, assisting them in their daily living.
For most of my life I’ve thought that being strong meant me against the world because outwardly, that is how life appeared to me. In school I mostly kept to myself although I was friendly and nice to all my peers. My stepdad for a long time now has felt like my enemy. His exterior is very rough and he doesn’t compromise much or show things like happiness or love. This disturbs me and I am usually very shut down around him because I am afraid of getting emotionally hurt. Recently, I realized that I needed to try a different way.
The only thing that has ever prompted positive behavior toward others in me is love. When people reach out to me and show me kindness my heart learns to trust them and open up to them.
I began going back to a church I used to go to with the intention of loving the congregation. At first, I was afraid they would judge me but now I’m fixated on showing them love and helping them. They showed love to me in opening their doors to me and I appreciated it. Deep down I know that I need to maintain internal strength and faith independent of the church family for their sake and mine. People may not understand everything about you and they might judge you negatively but you have to maintain your faith and confidence in Christ for the sake of your own conscience and integrity. You should make sure you’re doing good when no one else is looking and that you’re not putting on an act for church folk.
When we love people we open their hearts to change. When we are careful and considerate in our actions we open the channels for constructive learning. The only reason people act bad is because either they feel unloved or they don’t know any better. Both can be remedied when we show love.
We wage war all day long with darkness. Violence only begets violence. Anger only causes violence and darkness to thrive. If you try to defeat evil by violence you will only make the darkness in you stronger. If you try to fight hate with hate you’ll only reap darkness, misunderstanding, and fear. To defeat darkness you must show love and do good. Acts of love are never wasted. No one may know what you’ve done to help other people but God knows. Also, you must not treat yourself poorly. Be rich in kindness toward yourself. Don’t criticize things you can’t change in yourself. Think about things that make you happy and don’t beat yourself up anymore. If you make a mistake, say sorry and move on. Do your best.